Looking up the crescent moon as I was walking down the empty streets of our subdivision before daybreak, I once again find myself questioning just where this life of mine is heading to. The gloomy orange lights radiating from the posts lining the quiet streets only serves to dampen the mood even more putting me in a state of temporal melancholy.
I have been slacking off lately. I have been become more or less a delinquent with this attitude of mine. For this, I am beginning to hate myself. The optimism that once fill me is slowly beginning to be corrupted by pessimism. I feel as if my life is going to crash somewhere ahead unless I take a detour but then again, I have been to so many detours but I still end up going the wrong way. I wonder why?
Like the glimmer of twilight, my future looks diffused and I don’t know whether this twilight is from daybreak or sunset. The unclear line that is my future has become even more vague.
Loneliness is indeed my sanctuary, a place where only myself can hurt me. I began to remember why I named this blog that way because a small glint of happiness in this sea of loneliness can turn into a transient euphoria.
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February 20, 2008 at 6:03 pm
praxist
As a person who enjoys the “whoopee-dooo” sound that deadlines make as they go rushing past me, I can have but words of comfort over the procrastination bit. I, for one, take great pleasure in the steadfast pigheadedness with which I procrastinate. I promise myself that I shall not watch movies and I do not. Instead I read a book (magnificent to no small extent but still Neil Gaiman can hardly help with the East Asian crisis? Can he?) and then I promise I shall not read, and I don’t instead I make tea and then I say i say I shall not drink tea and I don’t instead I leave really weird comments on the first blog that I chance upon. Ah Well…
As for too many detours, I know too little to come off wise, yet things have a way of working out in the end. this really wise guy, that I really like, once said “all that has happened is for the good, and all that is to happen is also for the good.” and I hold that true. I’ve taken dozens and dozens of detours, so many that people have stopped being forever amazed with my fickleness, and yet I am proud to point out that I wouldn’t settle for anything less than perfect for me, so there! And one finds the right track…eventually.
This must all come off very weird to you but I have voiced your thoughts, a little less than a year ago and I guess I know how very difficult things can be at times. Of course my then blog was called “seagirt” (surrounded by sea) and i wrote a nice angsty funny post on my blog title and life decisions…Anyway I just wanted to leave a quick word that “Cheer Up”, you’re gonna be fine! er…didn’t mean to come off sounding so weird and rambling.
Prax
Have seen but little of your blog but I like the artwork!
October 12, 2008 at 6:40 pm
clerihew
hey you’re not alone..
looking back in my own blog.. i’ve also been to what you’ve been experiencing. probably in other ways or so. but left me with the feelings as what you felt with this entry..
praxist is right. cheer up!
you know, after nightfall there comes daylight… (^^)